This is lame …

… and this is laughably stupid (I mean, it’s Tony Little, what more do you expect?) …

… but this, is just plain wrong …

After a bit of a sabbatical, back to blogging.

For the record, before it begins, here is my initial handicap of this season’s Celebrity Apprentice.

First off, general thoughts.  The first season of Celebrity Apprentice was awesome because you had some really colorful personalities.  There was a touch of nasty with the Piers – Omarosa feud, but then you also had some great entertainment with diverse and fun personalities.  Gene Simmons was my favorite celebrity ever in a Celebrity something-or-other show.

Last season was exhausting.  What appeared to be another mix of terrific personalities quickly degenerated into a week in and week out cat fight.  Turns out the women were strong but not pleasantly so, and the men were soft … other than Dennis Rodman for whom CA became a trailer for his appearance on Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew.

Once again in looking over the list it seems like this could be a great season featuring a diverse and entertaining group.  But as we’ve seen, you never really know how it’s going to evolve until you mix them all together in a batch of boardroom stew.

So, for the individuals and my general prognosis …

Summer Sanders:  (olympic swimmer)  Athletes have tended to be rather passive and soft-spoken on CA.  Perhaps it’s because this isn’t their type of competition.  Early out.

Sinbad:  (comedian, actor)  I don’t know.  It’s hard to take the guy seriously.  But I can see him being one of those generally pleasant people who manage to stay under the radar for a while.  Middle of the pack.

Michael Johnson:  (olympic track star)  See Summer Sanders comments.  Early out.

Daryl Strawberry:  (former pro baseball player)  Straw is more than just an athlete.  He is a larger than life personality.  Since then he has also confronted his personal demons and written a lively tell all book about his days with the Mets.  Hard to tell how this one will go.  Can he still trade on his star power, or will he have the cautious demeanor of a recovering addict.  Middle of the pack.

Selita Ebanks:  (Victoria’s Secret model)  Hmm … eye candy on Trump’s show?  No way.  Obviously each case is different, however this type of candidate tends to get by on their “charm” which disguises their lack of initiative and creativity.  Unless there is a driven Annie Duke type who wants to use her for a pawn, Ebanks is probably an early out.

Maria Kanellis:  (former WWE Diva)  Another one that’s hard to peg.  Is she an athlete?  Is she eye candy?  Coming from WWE, she’s got to understand the marketing thing.  Upper middle of the pack.

Holly Robinson Peete:  (actress, philanthropist, on air personality)  OK, I have a tough time with this one.  I know her from 21 Jump Street which was waaay back.  Generally long ago celebs don’t fare will in things like this.  It’s like they’ve adjusted to being out of the limelight.  However I do see that Peete has experience in non-profit fund-raising which is one of the primary skills demanded on CA.  Upper middle of the pack.

Cyndi Lauper:  (singer)  Lauper strikes me as the strong artistic type.  An artist is generally not a candidate to win the whole thing, but can be a valuable creative force that teammates will want to keep around.  Contender.

Bret Michaels:  (rock star, Poison)  Without any buxom, blonde, brain-dead teeny-boppers Michaels could be out of this league.  However, Rock of Love revived his career so he’s got some star power in the bank.  Middle of the pack.

Carol Leifer:  (comedienne)  I could see Carol rocking this show.  She is hilarious and strikes me as the kind of person who is probably just as sharp and appealing when she isn’t on stage.  Serious Contender.

Curtis Stone:  (celebrity chef)  I really don’t know the guy.  A chef has to know something about business and marketing and should be able to bring some creativity to the table so I’ll give him some benefit of the doubt.  Middle of the pack.

Goldberg:  (actor, pro wrestler)  Again, those sport entertainment folks have to know the marketing and star power game well.  Middle of the pack?

Rod Blagojevich:  (former governor of Illinois) … and major sleazeball.  On the one hand he’s probably got a skill set that could serve him well on CA.  On the other I can just seem him taking some unethical shortcut that will piss the Donald off prompt one of his patented immediate firings.  He (the Donald) found out about Khloe Kardashian’s past DUI and had no mercy.  I guess a history of abuse of power and corruption is ok?  Middle of the pack.

Sharon Osbourne:  (TV star, music manager and Ozzy’s wife)  This my pick.  You can just see her taking this whole season over much like Piers did two years ago.  And the bonus is, she can be strong and entertaining at the same time.  Seeing her name on the list gave me real hope for this season.

So, I guess just looking at it person by person I came up with Sharon Osbourne and Carol Leifer as my top two.  I could also see Blagojevich in the finals.  Especially if the Donald is angling for a man vs. woman finale, which we haven’t had yet on CA.  Blagojevich definitely has the strongest potential of the guys.

Sometime around suppertime here, Reno 911 and Cops are on different networks head to head.  When I want to mess with my own mind I randomly switch back and forth between the two. 

It can be really confusing because sometimes Cops is funny and sometimes Reno 911 isn’t.

“I taught Mike some, uh, some phrases to help with his interracial conversations.  You know, stuff like ‘fleece it out,’ ‘goin’ mach 5,’ ‘dinkin flika.’  You know, things us negroes say.”

- Darryl Philbin

No, no.  AIDS is not funny.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians.  JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust.  The Lincoln assassination just recently became funny.  ‘I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head.’ *laughs*  And I hope to some day live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke.  It’s one of my dreams.

- Michael Scott

One of my favorite Office bits ever.

Another classic, from season two …

I have been Michael’s #2 guy for about five years.  We make a great team.  We’re like one of those classic famous teams.  He’s like Mozart and I’m like … Mozart’s friend.  No.  I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart.  You try and hurt Mozart, you’re going to get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

- Dwight Schrute

Season 6 is one week away!

The most sacred thing I do is care, and provide for my workers.  My family.  I give them money.  I give them food … not directly, but through the money.  I heal them. 

Today I am in charge of picking a great new health care plan.  That’s what this is all about.  Does that make me their doctor?  Umm … yes.  In a way.  Yeah, like a specialist.

- Michael Scott

So, the Food Network has put another edition of Next Food Network Star in the books.  I have to hand it to them, this was one of their best.  It was exciting and unpredictable to the very end.

The Finale was a classic confrontation between Jeffery, a polished expert chef, and Melissa, a common sense homemaker.  Melissa won out, but until they actually announced I really didn’t have any inkling which way it would go.

I was a Melissa fan all along.  Her quick, simple, “on a budget” style fits me better than the gourmet stylings of most of the other candidates.

However, after seeing the demos last night, I cared a lot less about who would win.  They were both great and I could see myself looking up the recipe and trying out what each of them did.  Jeffery won me over with his Ingredient Smuggler concept (although I think that perhaps the narrowness of that idea might have contributed to his downfall).  He made this steak sandwich with a special spread … mouth-watering!

So, it came down to a really close call and actually you could see the battle lines forming among the judges for the past two or three episodes.  Bobby Flay was a Melissa fan, and Susie was championing Jeffery which left Food Network Programming VP Bob Tuschman in the middle.

While Jeffery was a little more polished in front of the camera and his expertise was deeper, I think it came down to Melissa being a better fit for Food Network’s audience.  From Bob’s blog, “… the sophistication of his recipes wouldn’t have appealed to everyone.”  Plus I think Jeffery was too smooth at times, almost to the point of nonchalance.

One other bonus from the season was watching Debbie, the Fake fall.  She was skilled and great in front of the camera.  But she was also phony from the get go.  Now, keep in mind that season 3 ended a dud after they had to get rid of the colorful JAG (Joshua Adam Garcia) who was caught in an integrity violation prior to the finale.  I really thought he could have been the next Guy Fieri.

Anyway, they just kept catching Debbie in these blatant lies.  Even more annoying, when they called her on it she would immediately start crying and complain that she was “being attacked.”  Well, she was.  That’ll happen when people are considering investing resources and staking their reputation on a person and they suspect that person might be a pathological liar.

Here’s the bonus.  This fall they are going to do another run of Next Iron Chef!  Now that show is off the hook.  Those folks aren’t just whipping up their favorite cheezy mashed potatoes recipe.  They are going head to head with the best chefs in the world so they have got to have some mad skillz.  There is no chance I’ll ever pick something up from that one – it’s way over my head.  But it’s a blast to watch.  For example, the last time out they gave one candidate this pile of nasty raw fish and his challenge was to make a desert out of it!  So, I’m looking forward to that one, solely for the madness of it.

I can’t believe they are still waiting on the GSR (that’s gun shot residue, civilians) results in the McNair case.  NCIS would so have this thing wrapped up.  Perhaps their "Abby" needs her Big Gulp re-filled.

DiNozzo, quick!  Get to the 7-11!