Memo to Starbucks-sucking, Hummer-driving, pink polo-wearing golf “fan.”  When Tiger or anyone else is teeing off on a par 5 the ball is not going to “get in the hole,” regardless of your encouragement and vast knowledge of the sport.  This also almost always applies to par 4’s, and for that matter you rarely see anyone hole their drive on a par 3.

– B –

Breaking news in the Iran election story.  Turns out they found several boxes of uncounted ballots in the trunk of the Grant County Commissioner’s Buick in northern Minnesota.  Al Franken has now closed to within 57 votes of Ahmadinejad.  You thought those dissidents were mad yesterday …

– B –

Hillary Clinton has announced that Barack Obama has “absolutely” passed the 3am phone call test.  Really?  I’m curious what finally won her over.  Perhaps it was the way he decisively decided to step aside and give Iran a clear path to acquiring nuclear weapons.  Or maybe it was his quick retaliation after North Korea’s first missile test with a sternly-worded condemnation.  Then there was his call for Israel to lay down in the face of their enemies.  Obama has definitely led by example on that one.

Personally I think that with all that Obama is doing to screw up the economy, Hillary is just happy to have a job.

(Language Warning)  It’s hilarious, but behind the humor there is truth, or rather what is commonly accepted as truth.

Scott Adams was in rare form yesterday offering up some thoughts on Doomsday Cults.

Apparently, in 1969, for the first time in History, a man, American Neil Armstrong, walked on the moon.  Obama was heretofore unaware of this as he wasn’t there (on the moon) at the time.

After consulting with Hillary Clinton (who was under heavy sniper fire at the time, I think … who can remember things like that, what with all the minutes in a day), President George Washington and the Congress authorized the formation of the US Navy.

Over the weekend MSNBC squeezed a historical re-enactment into their their normal pedophiles and prisoners lineup.  In painstaking detail they recreated one of the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates from the Illinois Senate campaign of 1858.  Not that we would know the difference, but the network claims to have researched not just the words the men said, but as much as could be learned of their style and mannerisms.

Afterward they added a modern touch, by having Tim Russert and Pat Buchanan "analyze" the debate, and Chris Matthew gave viewers a chance to weigh in with their opinion on who won via a text message / email poll – something that has become a staple of this year’s campaign coverage.  The viewer opinion results were somewhat surprising …

Lincoln 20%

Douglas 7%

Ron Paul 73%!

Lincoln coming in well ahead of Douglas shouldn’t be a surprise.  It’s really hard to isolate this particular event without considering each man’s relative place in history.  So another big victory for Paul in a debate where he got to say little or nothing.  The guy is just that good.  I think that for a fair fight he’d probably have to take on Plato or Socrates, or maybe the 2005 USC Trojan Football Team.

(OK, this didn’t really happen.  It’s just a little satire poking fun at those stupid polls.  If text messages were votes, Howard Dean would be our president right now.  Until someone figures out how to capture the part of the internet community that isn’t still living in their parents’ basements, any poll taken by some means other than making people get out in the weather and travel to the nearest fire station or church won’t have any congruence with reality.)