When partaking of my music collection I often enjoy paying close attention to the backup singers.  It can be hilarious how their licks are totally incongruous with the song.

Case in point:  Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.  Even though I’m not a big country fan, I love this song – CU’s has a great voice.  Anyway, on the chorus she ramps up to full power in going on and on about trashing her ex’s pickup.  That’s where the backups come in, a lot more brightly than the lead …

CU:  … I dug my key into the side

Backups:  Ooooooo, into the siiiiiiiiide …

CU:  … I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights …

Backups:  Ooooooo, both headliiiiights …

Man, how fun would that be?  Tell you what, if this Accounting thing doesn’t work out, I’m going to be a backup singer.  I’d have to practice doing it without laughing though.

And just as a side note:  picturing Carrie Underwood savagely attacking some dude’s 4WD with a baseball bat … makes her even more hot.

I can hold my tongue no longer!  I’m not here to speak ill of the dead, but I’m sick of the hypocrisy.

This guy is not shattered, not immersed in sober reflection, not moping around because Michael Jackson is dead.

Jackson had his moments, sure.  There is no denying his contribution to music.  But since his musical heyday MJ had become a human freak show.  And we’re not talking about a couple of indiscretions.  He was up to his eyeballs in weird.

But seriously, I’m not here to hate on Jackson.  I got over his departure from normality long ago.  The axe I’m grinding is with all the network overkill in covering this event.  The starchy retrospectives.  The sober tones.  These are the folks who feasted on Jackson’s every misstep.  They are only sad because they lost one of their surefire, go-to sources for tabloid fodder.

If they have all of this tremendous respect for the departed pop singer why are they slurping around in the gutter for autopsy information?  Seems to me that the best way to show respect, and this really goes for any celebrity passing, would be to just leave it alone.  Report it as news and then move on and let family, friends and fans do their thing.

The good news is, my disgust over what qualifies as journalism these days was already maxed.  So this hasn’t made things worse.  It’s more of a reminder … “oh yeah, that’s right, they’re all freaking sleazeballs!”

After surveying their viewers, VH1 has compiled another 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs list. When it comes to list shows, I think VH1 does a pretty good job, and while I had some issues this was a pretty good one. So, my 10 thoughts on VH1′s 100 including awards within the awards …

1. You Really Need to Define “Hard Rock” First: Same complaint as the last time VH1 did this. How do you compare Journey, Night Ranger and Pat Benetar to Kiss, Metallica and Korn?

2. My What a Big Catalog You Have: Most groups hit the countdown with just one song. For those that had a huge body of work, I found it interesting which one song was selected. Some were logical. Ted Nugent with Cat Scratch Fever. His first and biggest hit. Ditto Quiet Riot’s Cum on Feel the Noize.

With Boston (More Than a Feeling) it would have been especially tough since every song sounds like all the others (assuming you throw out Amanda). But the one I really had a problem with was Tom Sawyer for Rush. Had they had two songs on the list that one would have been logical as it was the first big hit after the group’s phase change in the early 80′s. But with all the top grade stuff they pumped out in their early years … I would have gone with Working Man.Yeah, no kidding. We could pretty much tell that not a lot of effort went into it because of how freaking lame that song is. (more…)

Time for my annual acknowledgement of the dumbest line from a Christmas song ever:

“Christmas comes this time each year.”
- The Beach Boys from Little St Nick

I have not lifted this out of a section for effect, this is the complete thought. And it is repeated several times, just in case you were still wondering if some years Christmas might come in the middle of summer.

The thing is, it’s such a tease. If you are going to broach the subject you should probably provide a full explanation of “this time.” For example, this year I looked at my calendar to find Christmas falling on a Thursday when it was on Wednesday last year. Curse you Beach Boys, for not warning me about this wrinkle!

Every year new bad Christmas songs are created, but when it comes to dumb lyrics, the Beach Boys are still the kings.

A few days ago AC/DC dropped Black Ice on a world that had been eight years without anything new from the Aussie Rockers. Ice begs the question, “What did you do for the other seven and a half years?”

To be fair, this band has been nearly three decades trying to live up to the impossibly high standard they set for themselves with Back in Black. Following Bon Scott’s death, an event which would have buried most bands, they came roaring back with a new lead singer Brian Johnson, a new sound, and one of the greatest hard rock albums of all time.

Though they haven’t been able to duplicate Back in Black’s success, they had at least established a sound on which they could trade. Johnson’s coarse sandpaper voice. Angus Young’s nasty axe. And tunes that were shallow but relentless and hard-edged. What more does a rocker need?

In Black Ice all the unique details that once defined AC/DC are absent. In a nutshell it is vanilla, tame, non-threatening, and by hard rock standards, geriatric.

Whereas Metallica defied time with their recent relase of Death Magnetic which re-captured much of the energy that band displayed in their prime, AC/DC appears to be succumbing to longevity.

I lost all my CD’s when I moved last spring. So, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I-Tunes has a pretty comprehensive selection of Christian music, including …

The best Christian rock album of all time: Branded by Undercover. The music is killer and the message is real. Not a polished, “too good to be true” message. Not a shallow “Jesus is cool, rock, rock, rock,” message. These are real guys trying to live the life in a real world with all of the struggles that that entails. And they pour it all into their music. Classic, classic stuff.

Also, I was able to find some vintage Steve Taylor out there. Another uber Christian artiste!

Caught Ted Nugent on Glenn Beck last night. Those two guys … lock ‘em in a room and let the cameras roll. Nuge has always been one of my favorite rockers and I’m glad to know that our worldviews congruent as well. I couldn’t find a complete video anywhere except Veoh and didn’t want to install their crap. You can find it in parts at YouTube. Part 1 is here.

Nugent was on Glenn’s show to promote his new book, “Ted, White and Blue” coming out somewhere around the end of the month. That will be a must read.

And Metallica’s new album will be out 09/12. I’m liking what I see out of the band on this one. The atmosphere seems a lot better than when “Saint Anger” came out. Hopefully the music will also be better.

I was listening to the local classic rock station while driving this afternoon when it hit me: I am really sick of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” And that got me to thinking about the history of that tune. It was a killer upon its release 33 years ago. Then it took its place on the stack of classic rock wax, waiting for resuscitation via some type of post-classic commercial offering.

Enter Garth and Wayne. The Wayne’s World big screen effort was OK. IMHO it’s right there with so many other SNL bits that work well in 5-minute segments but are hard-pressed to entertain at feature length. Looking back, we have Wayne’s World to thank for two things that have really become tiresome.

1. Bohemian Rhapsody. In the months after WW, it was great to be re-acquainted with a Queen classic. Kind of like finding an old yearbook buried in your attic. It’s neat to go back through it for a few minutes, but let’s face it. At some point you’re going to re-bury it for another 20 years.

2. The old person or persons singing along with the radio in the car gag. WW may not have been the first to go there, but they certainly made this bit a comedy mainstay. As with Bohemian Rhapsody, this item has lost its entertainment value.

So, might I suggest some run for “Fat-Bottomed Girls,” or “Killer Queen.” That’s the great thing about Queen. The group’s catalog is full of old classics that have stood the test of time.

And, people do all sorts of crazy things. Like a baby letting go of the couch and testing his legs for the first time, perhaps you could try a comedy without the singing in the car bit. It may require a little extra thought and creativity … sorry about that.

I’ve got to admit, I’m loving the new Offspring stuff. I had kind of lost track of them over the last couple of years. Fresh Offspring is always a welcome treat!

Headline at CNN’s site:  Steven Tyler checks into rehab

So, he’s a hard rocker of Aerosmith fame.  What do you immediately think when you read that headline?  Drugs.  And you have to be disappointed because Tyler and band enjoyed a tremendous resurgence fueled in no small part by a new, cleaned up image.

Turns out Tyler is rehabbing after several foot surgeries.  No, not even a pain killer issue.  He’s simply rehabbing his limbs.

I know.  CNN using deception to “goose” their lame excuse for news … color me shocked.